It's been a while since I've had some presence on the internet. I have to admit that I may be at my lowest, and I don't know how long it will take me to get out of that funk. But at least, here I am in my blog, sharing a little bit of myself.
We always tend to take for granted the relationships we build. Why do we do things that would obviously hurt someone? Well, I don't have an exact answer for you, but somehow we are attracted to do things that we are not supposed to in every aspect of our lives.
Like I was saying in my last post, I made a mistake. You all know it. It's not the first mistake. I've made multiple mistakes throughout my life, but this one in particular resonates because I'm turning into this selfish person. I mean, we are all selfish in a certain level, but there's a line in which selfishness is just way too much because you are not caring for who gets hurts and dragged along. You're only thinking of your own satisfaction. Well, this keeps ringing because I used to be this very bad person I've just described to you and lost many friendships that way. And that's why I learned I had to take better care of the relationships I built and that now I have to fight back that selfishness and try harder to be a better person.
I wish my boyfriend would have considered this in his head though, before doing for the second time in a row, an action that completely destroyed any respect and trust I had in him. It breaks my heart because it's hard to recover from such a disappointment. It's hard to put trust in that person again. And I am a person with a history of trusting, let's say...no one! So, this here was a pretty big deal for me. He was the one person I really put my trust on and the one who broke it along with my heart in a thousand pieces.
Something he said to me before I found out what he was doing was a metaphor for relationships. It got stuck in my head. It goes: "Relationships are like a tea cup: once you let it fall and it breaks, you can put it back together but it'll never be the same." And yes, that's right. I mean, I'm not saying that after a heartbreak the relationship is doomed and completely over. Relationships can get fixed, but one thing you have to admit is that for sure the relationship starts feeling different and you have to fight along with that person with all you've got to make it work. At the beginning things may be awkward. Maybe you don't talk as often, or maybe you do but not so much on a personal level. Maybe both of you or one of you gets really cautious of what you say without even being conscious of it. And that's completely normal. We get afraid of getting hurt, of getting disappointed again. We get afraid of saying the wrong thing and screwing things up more.
When we love someone (family, a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend) we ought to respect. Trust is key to a relationship. You break someone's trust and you lose everything else. You lose their respect, their interest, and the communication dynamics changes as well.
A person who says they love someone have to honor that love all the time and avoid anything that may hurt the other person. We're supposed to keep building relationships and making them better, not destroying them by taking a thousand steps back.
So, if you don't want to lose anybody in your life, keep in mind that you better demonstrate that with selfless actions instead of with empty words. Don't make promises you can't keep. Take a look at yourself and try to understand what are the real reasons behind your actions. Understand if 1). You let your weaknesses take too much control, 2) something is wrong with the relationship you're having (you're holding a grudge for an offense, you're expecting too much, etc.), 3) it's something usual of your character; you have an all-time tendency of being that way. Whatever the reason, you better understand it and make a promise, not to the world, but to yourself to make a positive change so that you can take better care of the relationships you build. This way you can avoid hurting people so much that you lose them, and you can avoid that awful feeling of guilt, if you're conscience is strong enough to let you know you did wrong.
We always tend to take for granted the relationships we build. Why do we do things that would obviously hurt someone? Well, I don't have an exact answer for you, but somehow we are attracted to do things that we are not supposed to in every aspect of our lives.
Like I was saying in my last post, I made a mistake. You all know it. It's not the first mistake. I've made multiple mistakes throughout my life, but this one in particular resonates because I'm turning into this selfish person. I mean, we are all selfish in a certain level, but there's a line in which selfishness is just way too much because you are not caring for who gets hurts and dragged along. You're only thinking of your own satisfaction. Well, this keeps ringing because I used to be this very bad person I've just described to you and lost many friendships that way. And that's why I learned I had to take better care of the relationships I built and that now I have to fight back that selfishness and try harder to be a better person.
I wish my boyfriend would have considered this in his head though, before doing for the second time in a row, an action that completely destroyed any respect and trust I had in him. It breaks my heart because it's hard to recover from such a disappointment. It's hard to put trust in that person again. And I am a person with a history of trusting, let's say...no one! So, this here was a pretty big deal for me. He was the one person I really put my trust on and the one who broke it along with my heart in a thousand pieces.
Something he said to me before I found out what he was doing was a metaphor for relationships. It got stuck in my head. It goes: "Relationships are like a tea cup: once you let it fall and it breaks, you can put it back together but it'll never be the same." And yes, that's right. I mean, I'm not saying that after a heartbreak the relationship is doomed and completely over. Relationships can get fixed, but one thing you have to admit is that for sure the relationship starts feeling different and you have to fight along with that person with all you've got to make it work. At the beginning things may be awkward. Maybe you don't talk as often, or maybe you do but not so much on a personal level. Maybe both of you or one of you gets really cautious of what you say without even being conscious of it. And that's completely normal. We get afraid of getting hurt, of getting disappointed again. We get afraid of saying the wrong thing and screwing things up more.
When we love someone (family, a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend) we ought to respect. Trust is key to a relationship. You break someone's trust and you lose everything else. You lose their respect, their interest, and the communication dynamics changes as well.
A person who says they love someone have to honor that love all the time and avoid anything that may hurt the other person. We're supposed to keep building relationships and making them better, not destroying them by taking a thousand steps back.
So, if you don't want to lose anybody in your life, keep in mind that you better demonstrate that with selfless actions instead of with empty words. Don't make promises you can't keep. Take a look at yourself and try to understand what are the real reasons behind your actions. Understand if 1). You let your weaknesses take too much control, 2) something is wrong with the relationship you're having (you're holding a grudge for an offense, you're expecting too much, etc.), 3) it's something usual of your character; you have an all-time tendency of being that way. Whatever the reason, you better understand it and make a promise, not to the world, but to yourself to make a positive change so that you can take better care of the relationships you build. This way you can avoid hurting people so much that you lose them, and you can avoid that awful feeling of guilt, if you're conscience is strong enough to let you know you did wrong.